~ by Kathe Wunnenberg
Editor’s Note: Today (and every first Sunday in May) is International Bereaved Mother's Day which honors mothers who have lost a child to miscarriage as well as women who are unable to have a child.
I waited patiently for the Lord; He turned to me and heard my cry. He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; He set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand. He put a new song in my mouth. — Psalm 40:1–3
- "God, am I supposed to hurt this much?”
I sobbed as I looked at the teddy bear sitting in my rocking chair.
“I miss my baby.”
Though often it seemed that God responded to my pleas with silence, that day God answered and encouraged me in an unexpected way.
It’s probably another sympathy card, I thought as I ripped open the envelope. Although I appreciated receiving cards and letters, that day was one of those times in my grief journey when I couldn’t concentrate.
I felt relieved when I saw a hand-scribbled note from my cousin Crystal and a CD. Words through song had been Crystal’s gift to others since her youth, when she and our troupe of cousins performed together. After several years our family ensemble dissolved, but Crystal and her sister, Debbie, continued music ministry together until Debbie died of cancer. Despite her pain and loss, Crystal chose to press on and continue singing. Her courage, perseverance, and ability to view her personal difficulties as the bass notes in her life’s song had inspired me through the years.
Though distance has separated us for most of our lives, God has enabled Crystal and me to stay close in spirit, heart, and prayer. I sensed this CD was one more way God would intertwine our lives.
My curiosity mounted as I popped it in my player. Music filled the air, but I wasn’t expecting what came next. I felt as if Crystal were sitting next to me, singing to my broken heart. Her words rang out,
“He takes the place of Mom and Dad, He’s the best parent a child could have... Don’t worry about the children, Jesus has a rocking chair...”
As I pictured my child in the arms of Jesus, being rocked back and forth on the heavenly throne, peace filled my soul. Though I had never pondered a divine rocking chair before and had no evidence from Scripture that this was true, I did know that God was in control and could do anything, including using these timely lyrics to encourage me.
I sensed God’s presence and compassion for me in a personal, powerful way that day. Each time I listen to Crystal’s song, He continues to remind me that He loves and cares about every question I have about my loss. God is my Comforter and continues to use music to soothe my questioning soul.
Maybe it’s time that you too allowed Him to comfort you through music. And while you’re listening, picture yourself sitting on Jesus’ lap. Feel His arms wrap tightly around you as you lay your head on His shoulder. Then He begins to rock... and rock... and rock.
Lord, am I supposed to hurt this much? My arms ache to hold and rock my child. I miss my precious baby. Will my life’s song always be so sad? Meet me where I am today, and encourage me with Your truth. You are my song of hope. It’s comforting to imagine that You could be holding my child in Your arms. Right now I need You to hold me. Wrap Your arms of peace around me, and rock away my fears. Put a new song in my heart. Amen.
Steps Toward Healing
- How do you feel when you picture Jesus in a rocking chair holding your child? Holding you?
- What songs have soothed your soul during your grief journey?
- God affirms music for your grieving soul. Consider the collection of songs and prayers in the book of Psalms. He inspired David and other writers to honestly pour out their hearts, questions, fears, and feelings. Find truth and comfort there. Read aloud Psalms 16, 17, and 23, or read the psalm that has encouraged you through your pain.
- Listen to a song today. Select a praise song or a hymn, or download a popular song with encouraging lyrics. Listen. Then write down the lyrics and allow the words to soothe your soul.
Excerpted with permission from Grieving the Child I Never Knew by Kathe Wunnenberg, copyright Kathe Wunnenberg.
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Are you grieving the loss of a child today? We honor you and your loss. God is with you holding you close. Do you know someone who is grieving? Reach out to them today with loving support! That’s what the Body of Christ is for. Come share your thoughts with us. We want to hear from you. ~ Devotionals Daily